Turd Optimization Theories

Hey All, on Thu Jan 05, 03:35:29 PM CST Anonymous asked:

so dumpstin
what do you think? do you think it's ideal if, when you eat a lot, you poop a lot... or do you think it's more like, if you eat the right foods, you poop more or better, and if you eat the wrong foods you get stopped up? Seems to me, for me, when I eat a lot, even of bad toxic ish food, like this morning, chocolate covered pretzels, my body rejects these toxins and poops them out. so therefore it is ok to have the sometimes unhealthy transgression b/c my body will reject this stuff... on the other hand if i eat more healthily perhaps a more well formed turd will come out. So that's my other question, are only well formed, solid ish turds good, or sometimes is it ok if a more liquidy stanky one comes out? i mean, seems to me those are usually the result of the unhealthy foods. That or perhaps just sometimes you eat way to much fiber and your bowels become explosive. I'm curious to hear what you think on these topics.

Here's my response to this intriguing question:

First of all, it's not always that if you eat MORE, you'll shit MORE. Sounds crazy I know, but the key is to get your system operating EFFICIENTLY.

See, there is more going on in your intestines than just food-in food-out. Your body has to PROCESS the food and actually turn it INTO shit.

Your intestines use what's called peristalsis to move the food/shit (the food/shit is actually called "chime") through your intestines. The peristalsis doesn't move as fast as you can shove Chili-Burgers, Deep-Dish Pizza, and Milkshakes down your throat, so you have a stomach and a colon to deal with the normal way that we eat - which is infrequent... we gorge ourselves and then don't eat for 6 hours... or you may be eating like mad all day long.

Anyway, back to the story about the chime (food/shit stuff in your intestines). Your body has to deal with the chime in different ways all along the way. Some stuff it just passes through and doesn't try to break down (corn, tomato peels, nickels). But the corn and tomato peels aren't really releasing any chemicals into your body either so your body doesn't have to do anything with them...

Now, let's say you're shoving burgers, fries, milkshakes, etc. down your throat. Burgers (buns, meat, charred meat particles, grease) is going to affect you. It starts releasing toxins into your body as soon as it's swallowed. So, what happens is your body will deal with it. It will shit it out if it has the time and resources. If it has the mucous to wrap around it, it will do that. If it has the time to move it through your intestines, it will do that.

However, what typically happens is you start eating more... and then your body has to deal with the stuff that just came in - and it may not have your chime all packaged up and ready to send out as a big turd. So, what it does (in theory) is stores it away somewhere and then you get a messed up intestinal tract.

Your intestinal tract is just like you are... you can only do so much. When you get overloaded, you start screwing up in certain areas and eventually, you stop functioning altogether.

As far as the types of dumps that you should have... I think it's hard to say - I think it depends on the person. For the most part, I'd say that they shouldn't be too hard and they shouldn't be too soft. What's important is that you're taking dumps regularly and that you have energy and don't have a big huge rigid (not fatty) beer gut. Because it's probably not beer in there, it's probably stuff all stuck in your colon.

So, I really think it doesn't matter so much what you eat - as long as it's in moderation - but more importantly, that you don't eat too much. I think that overeating is (counterintuitively) the reason that you get constipated.

Please let me know if you need more feedback on this one or if I missed part of your question.

Peace in your pipes,
dumpstin