Flip Plops

Flip Plops
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

So, in Dumpstintown, things are starting to warm up - and here in the

stall things are starting to get a bit more casual - especially on

Fridays.



Tank tops, capri pants, Jorts (Jean Shorts), and assless chaps are all

being worn around the office... Oh, and people are coming in wearing a

lot of flip-flops these days. I, myself, in fact - am wearing flip

flops...



Oh, and the guy at the urinal next to me is wearing flip flops.



It's definitely in vogue.



But, as I drop these brown bombs and poowater starts splashing up and

out of the bowl - or the guy at the urinal has a "V-line" piss that goes

a little off course - you start to wonder how gross your feet are

getting.



Anyway, I like wearing flip flops... It's nice. I pee on my shoes in

the winter and sometimes it takes a while to fully dry out.



Flip flops on the other hand seem to dry out much more quickly - and

people just think you spilled some smoothie on your foot, that's all.



"A smoothie a day keeps the doctor away" - that's what I tell em.



Keep wipin,

dumpstin

U for U-shaped Poop

U for U-shaped Poop
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

What is my poop trying to tell me? That this dump is un-wipe-able? Is

this some underground poo gang symbol? Is it saying that it's going

underground into the secret world of poo tunneling? Is my poop in love

with my underpants? Does it have something to do with underfunded

schools and their plugged toilets?



Tell me poop - give me another sign!



Oh, here we go - I think it might mean to look in my underpants - ok,

now I'm gonna try to interpret the skidmarks and see what I can figure

out...



Got it - it's saying to unroll some teepee and start wiping cuz this is

gonna be a messy, unwipeable one

an infinite wiper,

dumpstin

Foreign Feces

Foreign Feces
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

I just walked into the bathroom, the window is wide open - and it's cold

outside. So, I put my hood up and am taking a hooded shit...



Which brings me back to the subject of international shitting...



I would imagine that in most of the underdeveloped world, you don't get

heated shitters. Most people who live in places like Siberia, or in the

Andes mountains, or even Afghanistan in the winter - they shit in the

cold. They don't have the priviledge of heating a room for the sole

purpose of shitting. This is why humans who don't have hairy backs

still have hairy groin, balls, and ass.



Because until people started heating their shitters, you would have to

shit in the cold and you'd be stoked if your asshair was as bushy as

mine.



I have to imagine that in many parts of the world, they still shit in

the cold - which probably means they don't get bikini waxes and they

definitely don't shave their balls.



a 7 wiper and a 2 flusher,

Dumpstin

Flies love shit and why balls dangle

Flies love shit and why balls dangle
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

I was just going to sit down on the toilet and take my 193rd dump since

I started this blog(or something like that) and there was a fly on the

toilet eating the poop off the bowl. Either that or he was sitting and

waiting for me to come and feed him.



Flies love shit. They love the nutrients in shit that you didn't soak

up. That's the great thing about nature, it takes care of stuff. Flies

eat shit, garbage, old pieces of meat, and roadkill. Flies are our

friends.



Even though the fly was sitting and waiting by the bowl for a fresh turd

to eat, he doesn't bother the shit while I'm shitting. I don't know if

that's because he's a polite fly or if there is another reason.. Maybe

it's because my balls are dangling around just above the turd - waving

the fly away much like a cow's tail swats flies off the cow's back.



That's why men's balls dangle... To shoo flies away from their shit.



A 9 wiper.



Dumpstin

THLUNK! (By Duge)

Thanks to our from the field submission - here is a live action video that is fantastically disgusting. Enjoy!

Million Turd March

Million Turd March
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Right now, it feels like my ass is spread about the width of a Goatse

ass. But I'm sure it's not. Anyway, the turd is just parked in

there... Ok, now the turd is starting to emerge... Whhow! Here it

comes! It's like an avalanche of poop... I can't stop it - couldn't

stop it if I wanted to.



That's the amazing thing about poop... No matter what, it will take over

and poop if it wants to.



Poop is like a mass of people who want to overthrow a government... The

government holds back and holds off the people as long as possible, but

eventually, it gets to a point where they can't hold the poop back

anymore.



If anyone wants to overthrow the Bush white house with poop, I'll help

out... We could do a million turd march - if we all threw one turd on

the white house lawn, we would create a huge stink and they would rename

it the Brown House.



I bet if GW Bush saw 1,000,000 turds on his front lawn, he'd shit his

pants. That would be worth it.



Love,

Dumpstin