Day 76 - Wanting a Swash

Day 76 - Wanting a Swash
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Wow, I'd love a swash (www.brondell.com). It just seems like it would

be so friggin great - paper isn't natural and it irritates the rectum.

Paper may be the cause of some hemhorroids. You gots to be gentle on

your stanky butthole, and the swash looks like a great way to do it.



This dump was slippery - came out nice & easy... Looks like a possible

assrope, but unfortunately, no chopsticks :-(



a 2 wiper,

dumpstin

Day 75 - The Dumpstin Islands

Day 75 - The Dumpstin Islands
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

This is an overhead shot of an area of the world previously unknown to

man... The Dumpstin Islands... Once inhabited by parasites and

shit-eating donkeys, these islands are now barren - only eminating a

stank odor that smells something like bad eggs cooked in baby shit.

paz,

dumpstin

Day 73 - a Brown Star for a lost Poo Shepherd

Day 73 - a Brown Star for a lost Poo Shepherd
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Long ago in the vast expanse of his poopdom, King Dumpstin sent a young

poop shepherder named Ballhairsius out to find a wayward turd. This

unfortunate turd had been left laying in a heap of hay in a run-down

barn without anyone to see it or paint a picture of it.



King Dumpstin felt that the turd might get stepped on or even worse,

washed away without ever being seen and appreciated.



Well the young poop shepherd, Ballhairsius, was eager to help out, but

the task was impossible. How would he find this special turd in such a

vast kingdom - with its hills, valleys, and woods, it would be nearly

impossible. Nevertheless, Ballhairsius believed that he could help and

he felt strongly that no turd should go unappreciated. It was getting

into the wee hours of the night and Ballhairsius was getting

discouraged. He dipped his beard into a pool of water and asked for

help from his God of Porcelain when all of a sudden... It appeared to

him - in a flash of brown, he saw it - a sign - a dingleberry in the sky

- a brown star shining so brown - signaling to Ballhairsius the way to

the special turd.



Well, you probably can figure it out - Ballhairsius was able to save the

wayward turd and King Dumpstin couldn't have been more pleased. Though

Ballhairsius went on with his daily life, Poopdoms far and wide knew of

this magical night and would recount his bravery forever...



and every year, on December 25th, King Dumpstin would crap out a little

picture of the star to remind himself of that one brave Ballhairsius...



Peace in the Poopdom,

King Dumpstin

Day 71 - Log Jam

Day 71 - Log Jam
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

This shot was taken at a nearby logging facility. The Dumpstin River is

overloaded with fresh logs cut from the famous late-December Colonix(tm)

harvest. These logs are full of strong, nutrient-rich nuts which passed

gracefully through the Dumpstin locks and colonways.



If these logs could talk, they would tell stories - stories of

pancake-eating, flannel-shirt wearing turdjacks... and the sights

they've seen: breathtaking views of the mightiest duodenum this side of

the Rio Grande.



It's not often that you see such an abundance of huge logs, but this

time we've captured the beauty with a bit of patience and good luck. It

all happened right in my backyard - here on the banks of mighty Dumpstin

River.



Keeping the Yuletide Gay,

Dumpstin

Day 70 - my colon is 70 days cleaner than most

Day 70 - my colon is 70 days cleaner than most
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Wow, where does the time go? Boy, I'll tell ya! One day you can't take

a dump to save your life and then you wake up 70 days later and suddenly

you realize that you've saved the health of a wonderful colon.



All colons are wonderful, but it is nice to know that it's my colon that

is back on track.



Just some anecdotal commentary on my health after 70 days of taking the

Colonix(tm) cleanse:

-I haven't had any assropes in a while which leads me to believe that

there were assropes (or mucoid plaque) in my colon and they were

liberated by Dr. Natura, but there haven't been any in a while so I am

potentially done eliminating "shit garland"

-I don't get hangovers very bad and I seem to bounce back quickly from

drinking binges

-I run to work now (or at least to the train) which is about 1 mile each

way plus stairs and have plenty of energy to do that

-My bodily fungus has subsided without the need for athletes foot creams

or anything

-I sleep well

-I have more sexual energy (if ya know what I mean - wink wink - sorry

ladies, dumpstin is taken)

-oh, and I've lost about 10-15 lbs and have less fat than I've had in

probably 6 years

That's all I can think of now.



-dumpstin

Day 68 - Signs of Intelligent Colon

Day 68 - Signs of Intelligent Colon
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

OK, so we all know that I sit and piss at home - biggest reason is

because it used to be easier than pissing off mrs. Dumpstin when I used

to piss on her seat... But, I've learned to enjoy it.



Anyways, I sit my ass down to piss and my colon must have looked through

the red-eye and seen that it had a clean bowl to shit in because it

shat... I had no idea I had to shit, but I guess I did...



Here's to my colon - which is on the honor roll at North Browntown High

School.



A really RED 3 wiper,

dumpstin

Day 68 - my intelligent colon

Day 68 - my intelligent colon
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

OK, so I'm reading this book and it talks about cellular intelligence...

It refers to a recent discovery that our colon/intestines/liver/stomach

have a huge network of neurons (which was known) but now they are

realizing that these organs can actually THINK!



This isn't a big deal when you consider that for a long ass time, people

have been thinking with their guts. Having a "gut feeling" about

something is pretty normal.



My guess is that our guts were some of the first parts of our bodies to

develop (through evolution). When we were just amoebas, we needed to

eat and shit... So, our shitters were also part brain. Then we

developed our cortex and medulla oblongatta. But, check it - your gut

is part of your intelligence... So when you have to take a shit next

time, see if you can get your ass to talk!



an easy 2 wiper,

dumpstin

Day 67 - sick shit

Day 67 - sick shit
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

So I'm not feelin super well today, but man, it still feels good to take

a dump in the morning... I've been eating a ton of food recently -all

kinds of holiday parties... Eating the craziest crap. Whatever gets put

in front of me is going down... I definitely haven't been eating healthy

lately. I feel like I should start a whole new 90 day colon cleanse...

But whatever. Hopefully, I'll take another dump later today and you'll

be able to see the chicken, ravioli, risotto, 4 kinds of sausage, shrimp

cocktail, herring, melba toast, and calamari that is on deck ready to

roll out.



But if not, you can see a carrot that I ate last night right here...



A stinky 4 wiper,

Dumpstin

Day 67 - #2 Dumpstinagra Falls

Day 67 - #2 Dumpstinagra Falls
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Ate an MRE *(meal ready to eat) that was indian food earlier - and wow

do I stink. When I went to push out a hot stinky fart, I could tell

that if I pushed a little harder, the floodgates would open. Sure

enough, they flew open and I pushed harder and harder and then the walls

blew out. This was a fun one - much like popping a big pimple...



Check out the kiwi with its black seeds and green pulp (ate that about 2

hours ago)



A 4 wiper,

dumpstin

Day 66 - Ring Burn

Day 66 - Ring Burn
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

I think it must have been the excessive amounts of sausage that I ate

yesterday... My ring is burning on this one... A bug disgusting mess of

a shit - but I'm glad it's gone... Whoa... I still feel as if there's

more to go... I may have a double dump today...



A 5 wiper,

dumpstin

Day 65 - Bungtease

Day 65 - Bungtease
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

OK, so sometimes dumpstin likes to piss sitting down. Yes, dumpstin is

a guy, but dumpstin doesn't like to piss on the seat and so it's easier

to just sit, relax, and have a nice piss.



Sometimes, dumpstin feels a bit of a dump coming on... But then, he

doesn't have time for a full dump, so although the urge to dump might be

on in full effect, he still holds back... When this happens, the bung

gets totally messed with and we call that a bungtease. It's unfortunate

and cruel, but it happens.



This dump started as a bungtease but then got a bit overzealous and just

had to come out... I had pissed, gotten up, walked away, and then bung

came back and forcefully made me shit.



Whatever bung, have it your way.



At least you kept it clean.



A 1 wiper,



dumpstin

Day 64 - King Kong's Shit!!!

Day 64 - King Kong's Shit!!!
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! This thing is monstrous! You'd think that only a

gargantuan beast like Kong could excrete such a massive log, but it's

just me - dumpin' D - on a colon cleanse... OH, and I just had Huevos a

la Mexicana which makes it all huge.



There is trail mix nuts all scattered through this dump - much like shot

from a shotgun in the body of a wild animal once it's been blasted a

bunch.



This dump is proof that man IS part beast...



A nice 4 wiper,

Dumpstin

Day 63 - High Volume

Day 63 - High Volume
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Whoa whoa whoa... This is what happens when you don't take the time to

shit on a regular basis... The shit piles up.



This is like 3 or 4 normal sized shits on top of each other... Take a

look for yourself and analyze the turds - which one of these turds could

be a normal shit for you? Or, how many of your normal shits equal this

shit?



A nice 3 wiper,

Dumpstin

Day 62 - Rubber Dumpy

Day 62 - Rubber Dumpy
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

I love my little floating dumps... They swim around in their little pool

and enjoy a wonderul little playland. I love letting them slide out of

the Bung Blaster waterslide and into the lazy lagoon! They love it!



Then all of a sudden - whooosh! They go zooming and zeeming all through

the most extreme waterslide ever!!!!



Rubber Dumpy, you ARE the one! You make dumptime TONS of fun!!!



See you next time Dumpy!



A 5 wiper,

-dumpstin

Day 61 - the magic of fiber

Day 61 - the magic of fiber
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

And water...



So my diet over the weekend was LOW in fiber. And I didn't crap much.

Now, I'm back to my high fiber diet and my colon is back to rockin it

out. Here's dump #2 in the last 2 hours.



A seven wiper,

dumpstin

Day 61 - Bam Bam

Day 61 - Bam Bam
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

This turd is dark - and it's shaped like a bat and ball... Or a club and

rock. Which reminds me... I loved Bam Bam from the flintstones. He

always had a smile on his face and he could friggin pick up a car with

one hand. When his Mom was trying to clean the house, he would pick up

furniture (while people were sitting in it). The guy was huge. It begs

the question... What kinds of monster dumps would he take? Did he need

a special titanium toilet so it wouldn't break? He must have had a

super-powerful shit muscle... So his stony craps peobably came out

really hard. I'll bet he would sit on the toilet smiling and when a

turd came out, he would push really hard and it would come out like a

rocket and he'd be like "BAM BAM... BAM BAM BAM BAM!"



Ate pasta with broccoli and spinach for dinner last night... Subway

veggie sandwich on honey oat for lunch...



A no wiper (yes, I'm THAT confident - Bam Bam didn't wipe, why should

I?)

Dumpstin

Day 60 - morning rush

Day 60 - morning rush
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Blasted this baby out right after my Dr. Natura fiber drink... A

different kind of turn & burn...



Last night, I ate:

Herring

Fried chicken

Jello

Salad

Quiche

Cheesecake...



A 1 wiper,

Dumpstin

Day 59 - a ploppa ploppa

Day 59 - a ploppa ploppa
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

These things popped out in pieces and cannonballed into the water - big

splash - it gave me a cool wake up call... A little Baton Rouge Bidet,

if you will...



I had a pretty big eating day yesterday, but it was low in greens and

high in other stuff (big burger, fries, and not a lotta water. - can

feel that I'm dehydrated. I feel like my body isn't pooping everything

out because it needs to take the water out of the poop and use it. I

don't know about you, but I'd rather not use the poop water, but my

colon won't listen.



Recent food:

Dark rye roll

1/2 lb hand patted burger

Small lettuce salad

Coconut shrimp

Stuffed mushrooms

Lingonberry puff

M&m's



A 1 wiper!!!

Dumpstin

Day 57 - escaping gases

Day 57 - escaping gases
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Isn't it interesting how gas can seem to travel right around your poop

to escape the colon trap... You've got gas and you've got poop. Often

times they both want to get out at the same time. sometimes, you'll

feel the poop up in there and then feel the gas rocket right around it

and escape. And the gas smells just like the poop - thus the phrase

"did you just shit your pants?"



Previous Meals:

-split pea soup, veggie burger

-grilled tuna sandwich, cole slaw, 3 beers

-blueberry waffles with flaxseed



A 4 wiper,

dumpstin



p.s. the red thing is a straw... some asshole left it in the toilet and

screwed up my perfectly clean bowl...

Day 56 - Hip Burn

Day 56 - Hip Burn
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

I just love it when you've gotta go. I love frantically trying to get

my ass on the seat because my arse just has to blow.



It's one of the greatest feelings. Because taking a dump is nice. It

feels good, and you feel better having done it.



Although, this dump has a hot, bitter aftertaste. I must be shitting

out some stomach acid - it feels a lot like an acidic burp, but this is

acidic ass... What do you call that? It's not heartburn. Bladderburn?

Rectumburn? Ballburn?



A six wiper,

Dumpstin

Day 55 - the Turn & Burn

Day 55 - the Turn & Burn
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Guys do some things that chicks never have to deal with... (Of course,

that goes both ways - there are plenty of things chicks have to do - I

wonder if there's a Tampstin.com out there for some chick that blogs

about her bloody tampons?)



Anyway, one thing that just happened to me is - I'm at the urinal and

then at the end of my piss, I have to take a shit... So, with other

people in the bathroom, you go from the urinal into a stall - I call it

"Turning & Burning".



And wow, this is a nasty looking burn... I hope you like it.



A 5 wiper,

Dumpstin

Day 53 - Star Wars Transporter

Day 53 - Star Wars Transporter
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

OK, I don't remember exactly what the transporter ship was called in

Star Wars (I think it was Empire Strikes Back) when the big people mover

shot off and took off - from Hoth, I think...



Anyway, to me, this shit is an interpretation of that... Artistic

interpretation - pretty accurate depiction, no?

dumpstin

Day 53 - rainbow roll

Day 53 - rainbow roll
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Ate sushi last night... Which actually seems like a pretty healthy thing

to eat. So far, no crazy digestion issues with the sush. Good sush...

I'm thinking some of the tiny little fish eggs won't get digested - just

passed right through. They were hard when I bit into them so the shells

that didn't get bit may make it through the digestive tract unscathed.



This dump is kinda crazy - some fossilized shit at the tip followed by

some soft fresh sushi roll... Unfortunately, I don't have any chopsticks

- had to use them to eat sushi...

dumpstin

Day 51 - live from nice peter show

Day 51 - live from nice peter show
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Took a shit earlier today, but didn't post it. Now, I'm posting it live

from Cigars and Stripes. We're on a computer that has free internet.

We're posting this from my phone but watching the blog post to the site

live... Fuckin cool.



Dumpstin

Brought to you by:

Www.nicepeter.com

Www.cigarsandstripes.com

Day 51 - elf shoe shit

Day 51 - elf shoe shit
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

What does this turd look like to YOU??? It could totally the front of an

elf shoe!!! What else could it be??? It could be anything! Let your

imagination run wild with this fun and decorative shit!



You could even hang it on your christmas tree! or serve it as a

croissant!



the possibilities are endless!

Day 50 - more weird shit

Day 50 - more weird shit
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Man, what I would do for an underwater camera... This is just weird...



I'd also like to analyze this stuff...there is bound to be some kind of

parasite up in this shizzle. Just weird and gross...



Am I taking too much fiber?

dumpstin

Day 50 - More hot ass

Day 50 - More hot ass
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

What's with all this hot ass? It's not the funnest, but I feel like I'm

really eliminating some toxic shit. When my colon prepares these loads

for launch, I really feel kinda sick to my stomach - but as soon as I

drop that hot ass, it goes away...



This is just loose stool... Looks like stuff I ate last night... Nasty



An easy 3 wiper,

dumpstin

Day 49 - Hot Hot Hot

Day 49 - Hot Hot Hot
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

What is with this hot shit? There are some mushrooms in this from my

Potbelly's Veggie sub that I had this afternoon... This stuff is just

flowing through me. My colon is definitely not plateaued as I had

previously thought... Things have really changed.



OK, just like my dump, I've gotta run,

Dumpstin

Day 49 - the art of the push

Day 49 - the art of the push
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

Sometimes, you can sense a shart... Sometimes you really think it's a

fart... And sometimes you can tell that if you push in just the right

way, you'll produce a mother lode of loose gassy wet shit.



When you push this type of shit out, it's typically known as a blat.



The popular phrase "My Aunt Ethel blatted all over the wall" points to

the fact that a blat has rocket-propelled power behind it. The kind of

power that could carry shit from your ass to the wall - and make the

shit stick to that wall.



I ate some bar food last night (some greasy/salty/cheap/shitty

chips&salsa along with some bad fries). And my theory is that the nasty

food is being quickly expelled by my colon because it is in a "clean-up"

mode. My colon is operating at a higher level and doesn't want to hold

on to food with all the impurities/preservatives/and bad-for-me shit

that is found in bar food...



A very wet 5-wiper,

Dumpstin

Day 49 - Ra Ra Ra Rrhea

Day 49 - Ra Ra Ra Rrhea
Originally uploaded by dumpstin.

This is some bung burning soft serve... Woke up and had to take a piss

when suddenly it felt like I might shart myself if I wasn't careful.

Sure enough the chamber was loaded with some big, brown rounds. It took

a little push to get this stuff to come out, but man is it soft and

stanky!



Speaking of being soft and stanky men, one of our "fans" (if he wants

to call himself that) contacted me yesterday and said that he thinks

everyone takes shits that could be ropes. No matter if they are on

Colonix or not... To that, I kindly respond:

"Hey dumbass, I'm not some kind of fuckin poop fairy that knows when

you've got a loose rope ready to come out. If you think you can pull out

a rope, go eat some chinese take-out with a fork and use the leftover

chopsticks and let's see what you've got. I don't think that Dumpstin

has any more special shitting powers than the next dumb shit... I don't

necessarily think that Colonix is the only way to produce long ropes of

strung-together shit, so I agree with the fact that many people are rope

shitters, but I am experiencing an increase in rope shits while on

Colonix. We at Dumpstin.com appreciate the input and in the future, try

not to be such a dumbass..."



Thank you again for your input.



Regarding the shit you see here, this pile actually piled up like a sand

castle above the bowl... Just a massive amount of soft, diahrrea-esque

poop.



Oh, and that reminds me, we were thinking of coming out with a "Rrhea

Pet" product for next Xmas season. Similar to the Chia Pet except it

would be a string of Rrhea coming out of a ceramic ass with alfalfa

sprouts growing on the asscheeks. The theme song would be



"Ra ra ra RRHEAH" similar to the chia pet song...



With love,

Dumpstin