CPS

So I was coming home - walked home - from about a mile away - and had to
shit almost the entire way home...

Anyway, I made it to about 3 blocks away when my ass must have
recognized that it was back in familiar territory because all of a
sudden, the shit has started to really REALLY want to get OUT. It's
like my ass has it's own GPS system... Maybe a Colon Positioning System
that will make my ass start to want to shit once it knows it is nearing
a familiar toilet.

So, once CPS kicks in, I go as fast as I can, making sure to carefully
select the right key for each door that I need to unlock, because I
could tell that I'm about 5 seconds from shitting myself and if I screw
up at any moment, the CPS could set off a false alarm and accidentally
trigger the shit to eject.

I don't think that my body's CPS device can tell if it's a block away or
if it has made it to the throne.

Anyway, I barely made it and this mess of a dump crawled its way out of
me.

Momentarily plugged my toiled (4 flusher).

Took Teepee into Mrs. Dumpstin's bathroom and plugged that toilet. Too
much teepee... Had to plunge... It was a mega 15 wiper.

-dumpstin

EZ-Crappin'

Nothing better than an easy, clean dump that practically makes your ass crack smile.

I hope the picture of this makes you smile just as widely as my ass smiles
:)

Ok, that was all I was gonna write, but then, when I stood up, turned around, and went to send this
big guy on his merry way, he just didn't want to go without making more
of a splash.

HOLY SHIT - this overgrown grizzly bear of a turd took NINE FLUSHES and
a 'spot' from uncle dumpstin - yes, this guy was so stubborn, I had to
stick my hand in and help it along...

Lesson learned: wash hands after a dump spot and before typing on the
sidekick.
***
In an effort to no clog everything, I'm only including a few of the
pics...

(I know that my readership goes straight to the pictures anyway)

Dumpstin

<

Bucca di crappo

When you eat lotsa food and then crap to make more room, that's
amoreeee

So, last night, we ate this ridiculously huge meal at this italian place
bucca di beppo. Halfway through my second piece of chicken parm, shit
started to need more room. So, the extra baggage was thrown overboard.

The best part was in the bathroom, they have pictures of big italian
arses and italian talk radio on the speakers. Suprisingly, the pictures
of arse actually make you wanna crap more - maybe we are conditioned to
want to dump when we see a nice big cottage-cheese dimpled toochess.
Maybe there were crap camps in italy and everyone would go dump there at
the dump... And your body would naturally hold the kids in until you saw
all the bumbums around the poopswamp.

Happy hump day,
Dumpstin

Sorry about the poor pic qwality... The red towel was on the toilet -
some sort of ancient italian tradition... Like a red cape used to
attract the bull, italians would put a red towel near the poopchute to
draw out beautiful brown italian noodles.

Dong suk phao

I can't wait to stand up, turn around, look in the pot, and see what
thai food looks like on the way out. It probably doesn't look that much
different than it did on the way in - except, of course, for the fact
that there aint no wooden toothpick skewer through my turd.

So, I still haven't looked... but I know that I feel better after
shitting that out.

I really can't believe that I don't shit more - you're getting live
coverage of every one of my shits since you started getting these
emails. I mean, I didn't shit during some of the biggest eating days of
the year - where the fuck does all that shit go? I ate turkey, roast
beef, cheese pizza, sausage pizza, almost an entire jar of creamed
herring, cranberries, veggie stuffing, meat stuffing, green beans, green
bean casserole, spinach & broccoli casserole, a yam, ham, mashed
potatoes, a pumpkin pie dessert, a mini snickers bar, 5 pieces of
bruchetta, salad (4 times), 2 bowls of cereal, an entire veggie tray,
mostaccoli, I seriously ate probably 40 crackers with cheese or some
other kind of spread on them, and I think I even swallowed a pube last
night...

That's just what I can remember - oh yeah, and I ate two heaping
spoonfuls of parmesan cheese as part of a dare.

Anyway - isn't it a miracle that even with all that, there was no Mr.
Hanky the Christmas poo?

Ok, this is a one wiper - merry dumpstmas everyone!!!

Fuck, I freaked out when someone came in the bathroom and threw my nest
right on top of it... Sorry, please count on me in the future to present
these on a clean canvas...
dumpstin

Dubble plugged

Hailing from the year 2004 is the big n' stinky poop in photo 128. I
took that shit on New Years Eve... Flushed it, and it seemed to have
gotten lodged somewhere in the piping down in the walls of the 1st floor
apartment. I left it for a couple days, thinking that it would melt and
make its way into the sewage before 2005, but that fucker just doesn't
want me to forget about itself or 2004...

So, just now, I took my inaugural 2005 droppings and now I'm elbow deep
in a double plugged dilemma... Next time I move, I'm taking a big shit
in the place to make sure their pipes are as big as mine...

Peace n' assgrease
-dumpstin

Jigglers

You know what can be fun? When you've got a little pipsqueak of a shit
left and it won't come out, so you give it a little jiggle? Do ya
knowwhaddimtalkinabowt?

What really sux is when those jigglers don't quite wiggle free and they
leave behind a little tracer... And then you go to wipe it out and it
turns into a 30 wiper... That's the worst.

Anyway, I went for the jiggle this time... I know it's a gamble, but I
feel pretty confident. This dump felt firm, so I feel good about it...
OK, let's take a peek and see how many wipes it is...

I got totally screwed on that one, I stood up, took the pic, all
confident... And then it turns out to be a 13 wiper... See, if you let
those ass cheeks eve THINK about rubbing together.. After a jiggler?
Man, what was I thinkin... I know, I know, I'm better than that.

From home base,
Dumpstin

Funny you should mention colonics...

whoa, I just had a talking refueler... He answere his cell while at the
urinal. Cray-zee. It was quite courteous of him to step outside before
he washed his hands though... Thanks for the effort, Drew.

Note to self: use paper on knob to avoid touching dick sweat.

Anyway, back to colonics. So this guy in my cube starts talking about
how he has an offer from a friend to give him a colonic for $20. It's
cheap and he says she's pretty hot, so he's actually considering it.

OK, now ken and woody are washing their hands together - woody actually
took a piss, but ken just came in to wash his hands... Strange.

So, then, while colonicboy is talking about how colonics work - they use
a water jet plus butt vacuum to get out all the undigested meat, cheese,
and pubic hair - I sense this urge to shit coming on.

My theory is that talking about, thinking about, and actually
VISUALIZING your nasty, plugged up colon may be a good way of
stimulating your anal sphincter and thus loosening the 25-40 lbs of
stool that sits between your belly button and your butt button

Lets all give it a try - just visualize a colonic for 30 seconds to 1
minute... Maybe even talk with the person sitting next to you. Go ahead
and try this now.

OK, well, how did we do? I'd love to hear any of our reader's
"findings".

Lets take a look at what the professor was able to extract.

Aaahhhh... A fine specimen! One data point in favor of visualizing your
shits!

With success in mind,
Dumpstin

Dubble plugged

Hailing from the year 2004 is the big n' stinky poop in photo 128. I
took that shit on New Years Eve... Flushed it, and it seemed to have
gotten lodged somewhere in the piping down in the walls of the 1st floor
apartment. I left it for a couple days, thinking that it would melt and
make its way into the sewage before 2005, but that fucker just doesn't
want me to forget about itself or 2004...

So, just now, I took my inaugural 2005 droppings and now I'm elbow deep
in a double plugged dilemma... Next time I move, I'm taking a big shit
in the place to make sure their pipes are as big as mine...

Peace n' assgrease
-dumpstin

Sloppy seconds

I'm sitting here at corner bakery waiting for my chicken pomodori & soup
lunch special... I'm also waiting to drop the cosby kids off - only some
small shitted weasel is in there stinking the place up - that's the
worst - shitting in another man's dump fog.

Whoa.. This thing feels like a fucking cosby kid alright. Jeezus.. Ok,
deep breath... Fuck.. Ouch - that big black cosby ass fuckin hurt a
brother...

no copilot, but I did have a guy manning the urinal. I wonder if he
heard my typing?

Oh, another guy just tried to get in here... Homeboy wants to soak up my
stench... Wait - he's fuckin changing in here... Throwing his fuckin
clothes over the stall wall... He just dropped his hat on the ground...
Fuckin nasty.

-dumpstin

Funny you should mention colonics...

whoa, I just had a talking refueler... He answere his cell while at the
urinal. Cray-zee. It was quite courteous of him to step outside before
he washed his hands though... Thanks for the effort, Drew.

Note to self: use paper on knob to avoid touching dick sweat.

Anyway, back to colonics. So this guy in my cube starts talking about
how he has an offer from a friend to give him a colonic for $20. It's
cheap and he says she's pretty hot, so he's actually considering it.

OK, now ken and woody are washing their hands together - woody actually
took a piss, but ken just came in to wash his hands... Strange.

So, then, while colonicboy is talking about how colonics work - they use
a water jet plus butt vacuum to get out all the undigested meat, cheese,
and pubic hair - I sense this urge to shit coming on.

My theory is that talking about, thinking about, and actually
VISUALIZING your nasty, plugged up colon may be a good way of
stimulating your anal sphincter and thus loosening the 25-40 lbs of
stool that sits between your belly button and your butt button

Lets all give it a try - just visualize a colonic for 30 seconds to 1
minute... Maybe even talk with the person sitting next to you. Go ahead
and try this now.

OK, well, how did we do? I'd love to hear any of our reader's
"findings".

Lets take a look at what the professor was able to extract.

Aaahhhh... A fine specimen! One data point in favor of visualizing your
shits!

With success in mind,
Dumpstin

Sloppy seconds

I'm sitting here at corner bakery waiting for my chicken pomodori & soup
lunch special... I'm also waiting to drop the cosby kids off - only some
small shitted weasel is in there stinking the place up - that's the
worst - shitting in another man's dump fog.

Whoa.. This thing feels like a fucking cosby kid alright. Jeezus.. Ok,
deep breath... Fuck.. Ouch - that big black cosby ass fuckin hurt a
brother...

no copilot, but I did have a guy manning the urinal. I wonder if he
heard my typing?

Oh, another guy just tried to get in here... Homeboy wants to soak up my
stench... Wait - he's fuckin changing in here... Throwing his fuckin
clothes over the stall wall... He just dropped his hat on the ground...
Fuckin nasty.

-dumpstin

La mierda del dia

Bienvenidos mis amigos y people that like looking at my shit... To
another edition of the brown log blog.

I know you're probably thinking that I'm not photographing every shit,
but I assure you, I am.
I know that by sending pictures of my dumps, I am providing a valuable
service to society... And I wouldn't leave you wanting.

Anyway, I think that my colon just holds massive amounts of shit and
now, I have trained my sphincter to wait patiently. It won't even wink
at you until I start writing a dump of the day email... Then it knows to
start letting loose.
Here is a sort of poem, or maybe it's just a quote of the day that came
to me this morning as I was wiping after my shower...

"It's not the size, the color, the consistency, or the shape... It's not
the smell, the sounds, or the number of wipes that you take...

All that matters, little colon, is that you do your best - shit as often
as you like, don't let the turds linger... But please, please don't act
up if the doctor ever has to tickle you with a greasy ring finger"

- dumpstin

Ps. I weighed myself before and after the shit... The scale reads a
full pound lighter!!! I know it's not a big one, but this constellation
of crap weighs a full pound, bitches!!!

Sloppy seconds

I'm sitting here at corner bakery waiting for my chicken pomodori & soup
lunch special... I'm also waiting to drop the cosby kids off - only some
small shitted weasel is in there stinking the place up - that's the
worst - shitting in another man's dump fog.

Whoa.. This thing feels like a fucking cosby kid alright. Jeezus.. Ok,
deep breath... Fuck.. Ouch - that big black cosby ass fuckin hurt a
brother...

no copilot, but I did have a guy manning the urinal. I wonder if he
heard my typing?

Oh, another guy just tried to get in here... Homeboy wants to soak up my
stench... Wait - he's fuckin changing in here... Throwing his fuckin
clothes over the stall wall... He just dropped his hat on the ground...
Fuckin nasty.

-dumpstin